In 1978, the second-graders at Maplewood Heights Elementary School had a complex system for determining one’s place in the social hierarchy, an algorithm that took into account height, athletic prowess, popularity, sense of humor, intelligence, affluence, and a myriad of additional variables.
A year later, though, all of that had changed. By the time we entered third grade, social standing was solely determined by one factor: the level of one’s devotion to Star Wars.
From "Darth Vader Made Me Cry", by Matthew Baldwin. Curently darkening the doorway of the archives at The Morning News. While you're there, check out the archives of The Non-Expert, the column with the best motto ever: "Experts answer what they know. The Non-Expert answers anything. "